Top Ten Weird Al Polka Medleys (accordion to me)

(This was, uh, supposed to get finished a while ago, but I forgot about it. But it's here now!)

Ah yes, Weird Al's polka medleys; the bite-sized time capsules of Yankovic's discography. Or as I like to call 'em, "the reason I recognize a...very high amount of songs". And just like any other type of song from Al, I have intense feelings about 'em. You know what this means...

Of course, I have the last one (10) first going up to the first one (obvious) last. We got to keep up some suspense, after all. Without further ado, here we go!

10. "NOW That's What I Call Polka!" - Mandatory Fun

This was the first polka medley I listened to. Alas, that doesn't secure it a really high place on the list. "Just some songs that are simply catchier" and all that. But that doesn't make it bad at all!

It's a marvelous medley of 2010s pop music, after all, so you can listen to songs like "Pumped Up Kicks" and "Gangnam Style" without all the insufferable YouTube comments. I loved how Al transitioned into each song (the brass helps!). Plus, it has the second best intro to a polka medley (hooray for the accordion!). And...that's about it. Sorry.

9. "Angry White Boy Polka" - Poodle Hat

It's from Poodle Hat, so it already has a leg up from "NOW That's What I Call Polka!". Unfortunately, that's about it for angry white boys and all the other fans of this song (as the position in ninth place may tell you). With that out of the way, though, let me tell you what's good about it.

It starts out great with a(n albeit censored) cover of "Last Resort", and keeps up the pace with "Get Free", "Outside", and, of course, "Down with the Sickness". Al really knows how to make some of these songs (not the ones I mentioned, mind you) sound good. Trust me; I've listened to one of those "replacing the cover with the original snippet" edits and the original verses just didn't have enough bounce. The juxtaposition of known family friendly(-ish) musican Weird Al singing songs about despair and rage is the cherry on top. Yes indeed, "Angry White Boy Polka" is a song that'll (ironically, I suppose) turn your frown upside down.

8. "The Alternative Polka" - Bad Hair Day

Although it's placing on this list may not make it very clear, I do love myself some alternative. And what better what to get my fix than with an Al-ternative medley? (I couldn't help but make the pun, okay?) It's got it all: R.E.M., The Smashing Pumpkins, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Beck, among others. And, to top this entry off, it's even got Al singing "Closer". What more could you want?

7. "Polka Power!" - Running with Scissors

If you ever had a hankering to listen to a bunch of late 90s songs at once, just listen to "Polka Power!". (I mean that affectionately, of course.) The instrumental has the sort of bounce that makes you want to dance. And, even if it didn't, that song choice certainly would ("Wannabe"! "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)"! "MMMBop"!) Lastly, I love the way it ends; by segue-ing into "Closing Time". How fitting!

6. "Polkas on 45" - "Weird Al" Yankovic in 3D (live version)

"Live version?" you may be asking. And I say to that, "Trust me, it's an immaculate experience.". Al's yodeling just isn't the same without "1999" right before it, y'know?

To elaborate... First, Al's introduction is (metaphorical) music to my ears. Second, if you've only listened to the studio version, you're in for a treat; along with "1999", we've got "Der Kommissar", "Bad Boys Get Spanked", "She Blinded Me with Science" (!) and "Stairway to Heaven". No Talking Heads, The Who, The Rolling Stones, or The Clash, but hey. Third, since this is a live performance, you can see Al make all the silly motions you could ever want. The only downside is that I listened to this version first, and now the studio version of "Polkas on 45" is kinda underwhelming. Oh well.

5. "Bohemian Polka" - Alapalooza

Technically a polka cover instead of a polka medley, but hey, it's still polka to me.

This is, in short, a beautiful rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody". How beautiful? Just listen to him sing "I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me! He's just a poor boy from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!". (He does that entire verse swell, but I'll just use this snippet.) You can feel the passion in his voice (at least I could!). This one also has the benefit of having a (sort of) music video. Check it out! (loud warning)

4. "Polka Face" - Alpocalypse

The first polka medley I listened to when I started my Weird Al era, and it's a more fun experience than "NOW That's What I Call Polka!". I love how Al sings all of these songs, especially "I Kissed a Girl", "Fireflies", and "TiK ToK". Not to mention, this one also has a music video (and a proper, non-eardrum busting one at that!). The accompanying visuals may not always fit what Al's singing, but they're all so enjoyable nonetheless.

3. "Polka Party!" - Polka Party!

(obligatory "repetitive name joke" here)

In all seriousness, though, "Polka Party!" is an amazing medley. It's like one of those fun dance parties I have yet to attend! Ever wanted to listen to Peter Gabriel, INXS, and Madonna all at the same time? Now you can (in glorious Polka-vision, at that)! "But what about the rest?" you may be asking me. Well, there's only so many ways to gush about a medley, so I'll make this quick...

IT'S GOOD! IT'S REALLY DANG GOOD!! I LOVE THE MOUTHFEEL, GAWDDANGIT!!!

...And that's all I have to say about that!

2. "Polkarama!" - Straight Outta Lynwood/"Hooked on Polkas" - Dare to be Stupid

They're both so dang good...so a duel place on the list they go! "Polkarama!"'s got an instrumental to die for, that (relatively) modern aesthetic, and "Somebody Told Me". "Hooked on Polkas" got Al singing funny (and in German!), that special vintage feeling, and "State of Shock". What else they have in common is singing different sections in different styles and (more importantly) a #2 spot on the list.

1. "Polka Your Eyes Out" - Off the Deep End

...And here's my fansite namesake and my favorite medley. Give it up for... (Drumroll please!)

POLKA YOUR EYES OUT!!!!

The immaculate song choice. Those brass instruments. That kept dignity. The way he sings... Truly, this is how all these songs where meant to be experienced. Hey, I did say it's the best while it's in its element.

Come back home, won't you?