So, imagine this: you're Weird Al circa 1984/1985, and because of your first two albums, you're crazy famous. What do you do?
That's right, produce another album!
Now, the above statement may sound a bit disparaging, but I really do mean it politely. This is the first peak (of three) in Classic Al's career. If "Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D introduced Al to the public, then Dare to be Stupid firmly planted him into the ground. Why? Well, because it's a really dang good album, that's why! It's even the second album I've listened to all the songs to (the first, of course, is Poodle Hat).
(I'd also like to thank 44nifty for the rating items of "Yoda" and "Girls Just Want to Have Lunch".)
Thoughts: "You don't know how long it's been since I had a check; my heart beats faster than you would expect, and while you're at it, hun, I got a real stiff neck, and all of this is makin' me a nervous wreck!" Wait, no, wrong song. Ahem.
An absolutely delightful song about medical malpractice. Use a chainsaw to eviscerate your patient! Poke around someone's brain — literally! Eat a burger when you're preforming surgery! Hospital rules mean nothing when you slay that hard!! Just watch where you writhe, Al; wouldn't want anyone falling down now.
Fun fact: the most replayed part of the official music video is...0:38, where the song actually starts. What, were you expecting something else?
Favorite Part: "It's a fact, I'm a quack; the disgrace of the A.M.A.... 'Cause my patients die (yeah, my patients die), before they can paaaaaay!"
Rating: 8 malpractice lawsuits out of 10
Thoughts: The ode of avant-garde stupidity. Have you heard any lyrics any (intentionally) stupider than these? It all contains ideas that'd be terrible to recreate if they weren't so funny. The upbeat synth instrumental helps a whole lot, too. And god, just look at that music video (if you can, of course)! It's gorgeous, let me tell you. All in all, it's one of the best style parodies around. Congrats to yankofools and yankoidiots everywhere!
Favorite Part: "Put down that chainsaw and listen to me, it's time for us to join in the fight!", "Settle down, raise a family, join the PTA, buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet... And party 'til you're broke and they drive you away! It's okay, you can dare to be stupid!", and the much shorter, sweeter "YES!"
Rating: 10 baffling, bumbling, and befittingly bizarre decisions out of 10
Thoughts: It's a song about a man with comedically high standards for his pet duck. I don't have much more to say other than I find it pretty funny.
...Actually, well, I do have another thing to say. I know I say it about a lot of songs, but the instrumental and delivery of the lyrics are just perfect here. Thanks, Huey!
Favorite Part: "One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown and show me how to get down; how to get down, baby! (Get it?)"
Rating: 7 new ducks out of 10
Thoughts: Did you recently go through a break-up? Are you thinking about your exes again? Has your love life been generally turbulent lately? Well, if you're feeling particularly vicious, then this song is for you!
"One More Minute" is, in short, the most hilarious song about a man being miserable that his girlfriend left him I've ever heard. Just look at these lyrics with me. Burning down the malt shop you used to go to? Visting the gas station of self-love? Slamming your fingers in a door — repeatedly? RIPPING OUT YOUR OWN DAMN HEART?! That'll show 'em! (Seriously though, I love how Al goes between normal sediments and completely insane things to say. It's one of the best parts about it!)
The only downside are those dang toilets - I keep forgetting they're in the music video and seeing 'em freaks me out everytime.
Favorite Part: "I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork than watch you going out with other men; I'd rather slam my fingers in a door again and again and again and again and again... Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin'?" (That joke about the gas station of love is funny, don't get me wrong, but it's not my all-time favorite lyric, y'know?)
Rating: 9 more minutes in Toliet Hell out of 10
Thoughts: Hey, look! I'm actually familiar with the source material this time!
This one's just a nice song about everyone's favorite alien mentor. I don't have much else to say, other than A, the obvious one) that it predicted the future of Star Wars pretty well and B, the less obvious one) there always seems to be something insane going on when Al and the band play it live.
One last thing: DID YOU GUYS KNOW THERE WAS A REFERENCE TO ONE OF MY FAVORITE NAPOLÉON XIV SONGS IN THE YODA CHANT?! IT'S TRUE!
Favorite Part: "He said, "Luke, stay away from the Darker Side, and if you start to go astray, let the Force be your guide..." to "I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed, but remember if you kill him, then you'll be unemployed!"
Rating: 8 rocks lifted out of 10
Thoughts: A surprisingly accurate cover of George of the Jungle's theme song. Like, "If I didn't know that this was Al singing, I would've presumed it was the original theme" accurate. I was actually willing to give it 7 out of 10 if not for...the Presidents of the United States of America (the band of musicians, not the band of politicians)! More specifically, their own, and in my opinion, better, cover of "George of the Jungle". It just makes this one pale in comparison, y'know?
Favorite Part: "When he gets in a scrape, he makes his escape with the help of his friend, an ape named Ape!"
Rating: 5 vines to swing from out of 10
Thoughts: You know, all of these albums seem to have a criminally underrated song. "The Check's in the Mail", "Mr. Popeil", and now "Slime Creatures from Outer Space". I mean, not that I'm complaining...
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that "Slime Creatures from Outer Space" is a really, really good song. You want alien mass destruction? People going nuts? The best dang synth instrumental you've ever heard in your life? This song's got it all. Just go listen to it already, PLEASE!!!
Side note: it's a dang shame that this one never got an official music video. A real dang shame...
Favorite Part: "They'll suck your brain out through a straw; you just can't trust those guys! So hide the children, lock the doors, and always watch the skies! (Look out!)"
Rating: 11 totally rockin' alien invasions out of 10
Thoughts: ...I haven't listened to "Girls Just Want to Have Lunch" yet, but from what I've heard, I have a feeling that slamming my head into the wall until I bleed would give me about the same experience.
Update: I finally listened to it and...it was okay. Could do without the chewing noises (real head-slamming inducing), but everything else was alright. It's like if you got a Weird Al from another universe to make a parody. Thanks, 44nifty!
Favorite Part: "She eats like she got a hole in her neck and I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check!" and "Don't know for certain but I've got a hunch; those girls, they wanna have lunch!"
Rating: 6 roast beef sandwiches out of 10, if you can believe it
Thoughts: This is the best song about being rich probably ever. It stars everyone's favorite out-of-touch billionaire bragging about all of the things he can indulge in. Fine food and drink, wonderful women, and maddening materialism; it's all here. Al's character is yet another example of a character I'd love to read in a story and love to deck in reality (I think it's his hedonistic sway!). Both the music video (including scenes from Johnny Dangerously and Al's original footage) and the instrumental is a perfect fit. And best of all (considering it was made for a movie), it even showed up in an album! Sorry, "Spy Hard".
Fun fact: when I watched Johnny Dangerously for the first time, I stimmed like CRAZY hearing "This is the Life".
Favorite Part: The DJ vinyl-spinning at the end of the instrumental break, but this title also goes to "You're dead for a real long time, you just can't prevent it...so if money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it!".
Rating: 9 billion dollars out of 10
Thoughts: A catchy song about cable, even if it is a bit outdated. A bit unusually for me, the lyrics are the highlight here. It would've sold me if it wasn't for the fact I already watch most TV on cable (the rest I catch on Tubi).
Favorite Part: "Well, they hooked me up and plugged me right in, and now I got cable TV!" and "Bugs Bunny direct from Atlanta, Mr. Wizard is on at five; I got a satellite dish on the trunk of my car so I can watch MTV while I drive!"
Rating: 8 different channels to watch out of 10
Thoughts: It's a polka medley — one of the best there is. I don't really have much more to say, other than the soundfeel of this song is just delightful.
Favorite Part: His cover of "State of Shock", hands down.
Rating: 10 shocked hearts out of 10
Banger after banger after banger, this album. Seriously, there's at least one thing from each song that I just absolutely adore — even "George in the Jungle" (in which Al shows off his ability to be right on key). And with the success of daring to be stupid, surely Al could only go higher from here, right?
...Right?
Favorite Song: "Slime Creatures from Outer Space"
Final Rating: 11 more miscellaneous items scattered across space out of 10
Come back home, won't you?