If the title hasn't clued you in already, this right here is Weird Al's self titled debut album (well, "this right here" is technically an online review thereof, but that's besides the point). It all began in '83, with a few major hits and a bunch of overlooked gems. The majority of the album being original songs and the lack of a polka medley might have something to do with that. Don't worry, "Weird Al" Yankovic (1983); you're still one of the best in my book.
Thoughts: A great parody of a good song, even if you barely know anything about I Love Lucy (like me!). Lucy and Ricky sing about their problems (loud music, bad neighbors, burnt food, the works) before reconciling like always. It's sweet! Bonus points for the music video being (mostly) in black and white. (Spoilers for a music video made in 1983...I guess.)
Fun fact! The first time I heard this song was in the Compleat Al and (along with "Midnight Star") originally thought that it was made for that movie. Not very "hard-core Al fan" of me, I know.
Favorite Part: "Oh Ricky, what a pity that you don't understand, that everyday's a rerun and the laughter's always canned..."
What can I say? I like meta lyrics.
Rating: 7 reruns of I Love Lucy out of 10
Thoughts: I haven't listened to this yet.
Rating: N/A
Thoughts: If Joan Jett proved that riot girls could rock, then Weird Al proved that polka geeks could, too. Just look at that swagger! He's handsome in that jacket, let me tell you...
Ahem, back to the review. Of course, it's an ode to Rocky Road (chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and nuts. I prefer Choco Coal myself). The plot goes as follows: Weird Al goes to an ice cream parlor, hypes everyone up with his accordion skills, and gets his Rocky Road. ...Yeah, that's about it, but it's an immaculate music video. Overall a catchy parody, and my favorite one from this album.
Fun fact! One of the guys in the beginning (the one Al's girls walk over to) kinda looks like Billiam. ...That's it, that's the fun fact. (Well, other than the realization that's likely "Musicial Mike" Kieffer. Sorry, Mike.)
Favorite Part: "They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same; all the soda jerkers know my name!"
Rating: 10 scoops of Rocky Road out of 10
Thoughts: I haven't listened to this yet.
Rating: N/A
Thoughts: It starts like a normal birthday song (aside from the beer)...until Al starts telling you about the wretched and the poor.
Yes, it's a punk take on the typical "Happy Birthday" cheer. And a glorious one at that, let me tell you... Al rocks out with the band all while singing about the evils of the world (pollution, poverty, posthaste nuclear winter, and what else have you). The way he sings here scratches a very specific itch in my brain, and I like that. All the screams during the guitar solo and Al occasionally talking to the audience also are a nice touch. You might have to have a piece of cake to settle your mind down afterwards, though.
Fun fact: I usually imagine this being set in an 80s era birthday party with Al singing to a bunch of terrified children ("Well, what's the matter, little friend? You think this party is the pits?" best describes what I'm getting at). It's amusing in a horrific kind of way (just like this song!).
I was listening to "Dead Puppies" by Ogden Edsl and the line "Come on everybody out there, sing along, okay?" sounded similar to "Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?", in both what they say and how they sing. I just find that interesting.
Favorite Part: "It doesn't take a military genius to see, we'll all be crispy critters after World War III!" and the much softer "Come on, boys and girls, sing along, okay?"
Rating: 8 slices of strawberry cake out of 10
Thoughts: Did you know there were actually five parodies on Al's first album? Me neither, until I came across "Stop Draggin' My Car Around", listened to it, then looked it up because everyone kept mentioning Tom Petty in the comments. In short, it's a parody of "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" in which some unlucky man's car keeps getting towed and Al keeps over-pronouning words (which sounds nice to my ears, okay?). It's better than it sounds, though, I promise!
I don't have much more to say about this song (it's decent, if a bit lackluster in comparison to, say, "Another One Rides the Bus"), but I do have this: I like the call forward to "The Check's in the Mail". Maybe his car kept gettin' towed as punishment for trying to sue?
Favorite Part: The entire verse about this poor guy's car getting towed at the disco. The reasoning is just so petty; I love it.
Rating: 9 towed cars out of 10
Thoughts: One of the classics. What's not to love about a song about a dude's ode to bologna originally recorded in a bathroom? I don't have much else to say about "My Bologna" that hasn't already been said, but I do have this note: I kinda wish Al kept the riff at the end of "My Sharona". I also liked how the "Hey!" echoed on the Capitol Records single version. Kinda wish they kept that in, too.
Still, it's a pretty sweet (savory?) song. Nice to listen to if you need your Al fix, but you're in a bit of a rush.
Favorite Part: "Going to the market now, market now; I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer! Walking down the shopping aisles, shopping aisles, filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer!"
Rating: 9 slices of bologna out of 10
Thoughts: While most of this album's originals are underrated, I think this one is most so. It's a song of business clichés about a corrupt manager, and a catchy one at that. He'll make you a deal (and hope you don't read the fine print too closely), then make sure you won't try to contact him so he can run off with your money. Con men are a common archetype, yes, but it's an enjoyable one to me (especially if they're portrayed by Weird Al!).
He also said he'd have lunch with his machine, and I like that in a man. (...Well, your machine, but by that point it might as well be his.)
Favorite Part: "So baby, won't you sign on the dotted line? I'm gonna make your dreams come true! The check's in the mail; would I lie to you?" to "Well, I'm proud to say you're not the only critic of mine (yeah!), so if you wanna sue me, I'm afraid you're gonna have to wait in line! Take a number, thanks for calling who loves you baby; don't forget to read the fine print!"
Rating: 10 lawyers in three piece suits out of 10
Thoughts: Again, one of the greats. Seeing him play on TV (er, play on TV on YouTube; I obviously wasn't alive in 1980-something) with Schwartz thumping an accordion case for the first time was an experience. This is a seriously good song, okay? I just love how increasingly unhinged he sounds while singing; it's like you can hear the anger in his voice.
Fun fact! Dan "Damaskas" Hollombe, Susan "SuLu" Dubow, "Musical Mike" Kieffer, and Beefalo Bill all did backup for this song. Ain't that cool?! (And while I'm on the topic, the great Luke Ski made a parody about this very song. Neat stuff!)
Favorite Part: The noises he makes while singing the chorus the second time around, although "The window doesn't open and the fan is broke, and my face is turnin' blue (yeah)... I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see The Who!" is a pretty close contender.
Rating: 10 crowded buses out of 10
Thoughts: Another punk song by Al, this one's about not falling for current trends (well...current for the 80s). He doesn't want your incense or your Perrier, and he especially doesn't want your vegetarian diets (ironic!); he just wants to live as viscerally as he can. I like his dedication to being himself. I also like the distinct, bagpipe-esque instrumental; it really sets the mood.
Favorite Part: "And I'm in now hurry to be casual; in fact, I think I'll wait, until I'm pushing up the daisies! (Like, wow man, can you relate?)"
Rating: 8 hand-made patches out of 10
Thoughts: This so-called "groovy guy" is one of the most self-aggrandizing (fictional) men I've ever listened to.
I love him. He's a bit like character from a sitcom, y'know? He's a tacky, egotistical loser, but he's also an entertaining loser, and that's the most important thing here. He can go sing about how cool his clothes are and how good a lover he is, and we can all laugh because we know neither point is true. Lastly, his trapped-in-the-70s style brings "Stop Draggin' My Car Around" to mind. Are they the same person? I hope.
Favorite Part: "...And then attach electrodes to your brain and watch you dance! Oh, golly, wouldn't that be fun?"
Rating: 7 disco suits out of 10
Thoughts: A song about a kid bothering an almost dead old man shouldn't be as adorable as this song is. (I think it's the voice!) You can tell how much he likes Mr. Frump, even if their relationship is one-sided (you know, with him being in an iron lung and all). The air valve being used for Mr. Frump's "dialogue" was a great choice for an accordion song. It makes me wonder, though...how does this kid keep getting into Mr. Frump's room? Are they related, or does he just pester the doctors until they let him in?
Al has apperently played this song on the guitar as well, but I'm not sure how that's supposed to work. You know, with the song's gimmick being that Al imitates the sound of an iron lung with the bellows of an accordion and all. Does he do a similar thing on the guitar...?
Favorite Part: "Y'know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend; he's never a chump or a tease. He never tells me lies, and best of all, he never disagrees!". I also love the way he says "Hii!".
Rating: 9 minutes left in the iron lung out of 10
"Weird Al" Yankovic (1983) is what I like to call "obscurely popular". As said before, it has some extremely recognizable songs (do I even need to tell you 'em?), but the album as a whole isn't mentioned often these days. It's a pity, since the rest of these songs are HIGHLY underrated (*cough* especially "The Check's in the Mail" *cough*). I reckon you check it out. If nothing else, it'll give you a nice view of what (very) early Al was like.
Favorite Song: I try to keep this to only 1 song at a time, but I'll make an exception here: the title goes to both "I Love Rocky Road" and "The Check's in the Mail"!
Final Rating: 9 miscellaneous items scattered across the room out of 10
You can either read on about early Al's exploits in "Weird Al" Yankovic in 3-D or come back home. Which one is it gonna be?